Interesting post, Angie. You've given me a lot to think about. In spiritual terms, I found a lot of comfort from the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner -- a Jewish rabbi & also a bereaved father.
I did not seek out individual counselling post-loss (although I did speak a few times in the weeks afterwards with the hospital social worker who had helped us). I did start attending a support group about a month later, which helped. There were no blogs then, but I also found an e-mail group, which was my daily lifeline.
We did consult with a counsellor a few times during infertility treatment, & I've seen two other counsellors in the years since then at times when I've been struggling with anxiety. It's funny how often the conversation will turn to a discussion of loss & infertility & its reverberating effects.