What a good post. And good questions. I do believe spiritually that my girl existed with us for awhile. I would hear a stream or a river and think of her immediately. I don't know why water would do that for me and my head. I do think spirituality has explained this very well for me. Physically and psychologically everything says this can't really exist, because it's not real. But, for me, the signs are spiritual signs that she existed, that I was dreaming for her.
I have had multiple dreams of babies and of mothering, nursing and holding and loving an infant, they probably were not dreams of my little girl, but dreams that I wish I could act on in reality. If they were dreams of her, I cherish them.
I think her little spirit is not with us so much now, every now and then I get glimpses of her, in the warm breeze, in the sounds of a rushing river, in a sunset, in beauty. I think of her and wish she was here smiling along beside us all. Thanks for this post. Good questions!