Wonderful word wandering Julia. It has always been biology for me. The God thing the afterlife etc.-just don't work for me. Though I love the song, food, and tradition of my Judaism I am not religious. I think even if I was it just wouldn't matter it would always be biology. It's tangible, it makes sense-things just went terribly wrong from the get go. baby taz was born full term-incredibly easy birth with undiagnosed trisomy 13 (yes doctor incompetence). 1-20-25,000 live births. Wow think about the statistics there. Statistics don't matter when it happens to you. The challenge is that the emotions don't jive with the "just biology thing". Though rationally I know my child couldn't live I am non the less devastated then a mother whose healthy newborn dies or a baby who died from a cord accident. You wouldn't love your living child any less if they suddenly became incapacitated. You don't get more random then baby taz. I'm with you gals on the sentimental dead baby poetry. I guess the thing that still troubles me the most is the inability for people to cry with you. It is such a nice thing when you can walk with a friend and just talk and cry and it feels so natural and not uncomfortable-but wow there just aren't many who can go there. I sure wish the DNA thing was perfect and umbilical cords were titanium and the world only had strong healthy babies. I love you woman for making glow-though I don't contribute often It is a place I seek out often. THough it has been over 3 years I still very much need this place.
negative example of code 4: "God and afterlife don't work for me"