I can tell that we are going through similar things...it just seems to be harder. I have been more silent because I find that I just don't have words to express so I don't even try. I can't imagine how you're getting through all that you have to...sounds like a huge move and visitors (with a three month old, no less!) We have also moved (though only about 6 miles) but I have been finding that very difficult. I think it's amazing that you can make a bench for Emily in your garden though, what a thoughtful idea! We have some old windows and wood from our house (which was 100 years old) and are adding them to our new house for character and so that it will be with us. I just find myself in Brynn's room (our "nursery" we have generically named it) because it was supposed to be Grace's room and Brynn "should" be in her big girl room now...but I guess she wasn't ready anyway because she loves her room and her crib still. Sometimes thoughts creep in that God did think *I* could handle another baby so he took her away...I'm sure you know when the darkness creeps in. Most days I can push it back but sometimes not.
I find myself dreading the due date and wanting it to be over with at the same time...I somehow thing it will be "better" after that has passed but I have no idea why or how. My best friend will most likely have her c-section scheduled for the end of July...and my sister-in-law recently found out she is pregnant (which I'm very happy about because she had an early miscarriage last year but I find myself annoyed that they can't wait for 12 weeks because then it will be "safe" to tell everyone...ha ha.)
I agree with your thoughts about your husband too...mine also seems to just want this to be "over with" and "move on." I know he thinks about Grace and he actually brought her up the other day which he rarely does, but I just feel like somehow he doesn't feel it as deeply as I do. Maybe because I can remember and feel her kicks...he just thinks we should try again. Speaking of which, I took my last pill yesterday...I have mixed feelings, of course. We had agreed to take 3 months of pills because our high risk doctor recommended waiting 6 months. We said we didn't want to wait that long but she agreed there was no real good reason to wait, it was just a "precaution." So we figured if we are off the pill, we'll let nature take its course and hope for the best. I guess I just recently feel so angry that we have to go through this again already...we shouldn't have to think about this for another year because we should have a beautiful baby girl in a few weeks and be too wrapped up in her to need to think about TTC! But alas, here we are...
Anyway, sorry to go on so long, but I thank you again for thinking of us. Please let me know anything you want to talk about, the due date approaching is SUCH a....something, I don't even know what! Horrible thing to have to go through without a baby!! Thinking of you and Emily...