Well, I definitely agree with everyone else, telling me to relax at this point is pretty much pointless and rude. I think people think it makes it better that our son had a horrible birth defect, like ohhhh, it was for the best and what are the chances of that happening again? Well, stupid person, I guess it's not that high but it has completely opened our eyes to the fact that not all babies come home and that's a little stressful. So f*** off.
This is our first month ttc, and it's only been two since we lost our son, so I am not a total stressball about conceiving yet (although really I guess I am, I want so badly to get back to that place). We have never had a hard time getting pregnant but things change of course and after every loss I worry that this will be the time it takes forever. And of course since I have now had one child with a NTD, the chances of having another goes up, so I worry about that. I am taking a bajillion mcgs of folic acid to help decrease those chances but who knows if that actually works.
As far as trying to calm myself down....I just concentrate on the fact that this happened once perfectly for us and hopefully it can happen again. I try to keep my body as healthy as possible and try to convince myself that will help. I read silly magazines and old books from my childhood (like Anne of Green Gables, my current fave, haha). I hang out with the hubs or walk the dogs. I remind myself that God is good, He has a plan and everything will fall into place as it should.
Not that any of it really works that well, but it helps.
among minority of parents who found comfort in "God's plan"