I'm home again

Things are well enough here. I'm feeling tired and lonely, but have found a great deal of unexpected consolation in CS Lewis. I've been avoiding his work for some time, because I simply don't feel close to God anymore, I feel more angry than anything, but I picked up his book 'A Grief Observed' which is stuff from his journal after his wife died and is so raw and honest and there was so much I just nodded along with and held in my heart because oh, it is exactly what I've felt too, oh yes. I feel a bit more at peace, a bit like - if he can feel this way too and still find his way back, maybe there is hope after all. I'm not yet sure that is in fact, what I want, but still, a comfort.