(God, faith mentioned)
Oh Susan, I'm sorry for your struggles. It is so frustrating when 'people' tell us (mostly who have never known babyloss) not to question our faith. The best conclusioin I've come to is that God can handle any anger and questioning we put his way. He does not push away even when we push him away.
I see God's goodness in so many things, but it is so torturously hard to see what goodness Will's loss was. I know we were spared the trauma of medical malpractice and other horrific circumstances. I've come to believe that God mourns with us. That he did not intervene, but that his heart breaks for us. I know God will make good out of this loss...but I do not believe I have to call Will's loss 'good'. It is not.
I believe that God hears knows our hearts....he knows our anger and bitterness. He knows when we cannot trust him. And I believe that God stands by us no matter, holding our hands when we want, and stepping back when we don't want to trust.