I've got nothing signitficant to add, just wanted to say i'm thinking of you. I have found this issue very hard as has everyone above. For me, it's the newborn babies that are the hardest. That and the birth announcements. I have one baby in our close social circles that was born about 5 months after we lost our Salome: another 3rd daughter to the family, same Obst, same hospital, VERY different outcome ie they got a healthy baby to take home. That whole situation was fraught for me. Lots of well-meaning people watching me to see what I'd do, trying to take their cues from me, obviously talking about me and worried about how i would react. I felt like a freak as well as being enormously distressed. It was the Mum of this other baby girl who handled the situation the best out of everyone in that social circle. She and I had some very frank discussions leading up to the birth about how we were both feeling about our situations. That really helped.
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As for that God-stuff, I am so sorry you copped that in that email. It drives me bonkers, that oversimplified "God wanted another angerl" shit. I have found 'When bad things happen to good people' to be the best thing I have read so far on that stuff. Personally, I think it's blasphemous to suggest that God would behave with the cruelty that is implied by the 'God wanted another angel' comments.
So in answer to your questions, my key friendships have all survived, but only because the other parents involved have been very supportive and responsive to my requests. Otherwise I think I would have had to write them off. I certainly felt consumed with jealousy at times. I have found the jealousy has faded, but still rears it's head when I least expect it.