hatred

I can relate to the pain of having the damage this experience can do to a person's spirituality. The death of my daughter Salome ripped up my faith like paper shredder, a faith I was proud of, and which I thought was strong enough and 'mature' enough to get through everything. That in itself has for me been one of the major things to grieve in all of this mess.

I am 2 years on now, and my faith is by no means sorted. In Salome's eulogy I said I was no longer on speaking terms with God. I have shifted from that posiiton, but it's still a long hard road and I wish it wasn't.

Here's a blogpost I wrote back when I was about 4 months out from Salome's death, for your interest:
http://agriefobserved-sophia.blogspot.com/2010/05/monday-17th-may-god-and-me.html

I hope you are surrounded by people who can support you and can listen without trying to shush you up or try to pack your feelings or thoughts back in a box. For me, I think there is nothing blasphemous in asking questions and / or showing your fury to God. I mean God knows about it already, right?

Wishing you peace. I have always found the anger a very DRAINING part of the grief. In some ways there is an energy to it, but it's draining too.