The Inescapability of Karma--Maybe (comment)

I sought therapy after Gabriel died, conventional talk therapy with a psychologist I had seen before. (I'm an old hat at therapy.) For me it was a space to let my grief really rage, to be all-consuming. I started therapy about the same time that I started back to freelancing, which was a sign of moving forward with life — which as we all know is a difficult choice to make. My therapist was great, letting me work through my thoughts, fears, pain. I don't recall a particularlly difficult section, although there was a poem I had written that we talked a lot about in the context of losing my son.

I never applied the idea of karma as it is presented here to our loss. Although I do firmly believe in 'what comes around goes around' I think because I am so rooted in my Catholic faith I just never felt our loss was retribution for anything. And, believe me, I have the perfect sins for which it could be retribution. But I don't believe God works that way. God is far outside of human understanding, and to say, "he/she is punishing me for X or testing me" is attributing too human motivations to an entity outside of the human realm.

I also never bought into "everything happens for a reason". which is not to say that I have not received/sussed out the gifts of my son's life. But a reason? that I just can't fathom.