Strength in the Ashes (comment)

I sit here in my warm, cozy cabin, my brand new son asleep on my chest. My heart is full with the many blessings I have received in my life. My new son, C, is healthy and beautiful,
and the fulfillment of a promise I heard from God that we would bring our second child home. You see, one year ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I held her in my arms, kissed her head, and sang to her; and one minute she was alive, and in the next she was dead. She was born too early to survive for more than the twenty minutes we got to hold her. As a Christian I cried out to God in those hours I was in labor. I cried out to God as I held her. I cried out to God as she died. And I cry out to God now. Even though I adore my son, and I couldn't be happier that he is here and he is well, I am angry that he will never play with his sister, I am angry that I was robbed of my daughter. As Angie said, God could have fixed this and He didn't. And I will never understand why, and I really feel that God has some 'splaing to do. But despite my anger at God, and my hurt and my heartbreak, I still reach out to Him. My reach is short and tentative, but I reach. And I couldn't do so without knowing others have walked my path. So thank you, Angie. The ashes of your fire give me hope and strength for my walk. Your great love of the Lord inspires me and helps me continue on the path I never wanted to be on, but found myself traveling all the same. Thank you for your words.