It is the first time I post here...
It has been a little more than a year since I lost my son Alejandro. He was stillborn at 40 weeks. The cause was never found out.
I am not religious, but I did wish I were some times during this last year. Now, the idea of God is even more improbable to me. A friend who found comfort in Buddhism after her daughter was stillborn many years ago (I didn't know until I lost Ale and reached for me) gave me a Buddhist book to read, but I couldn't read past the 2nd chapter. Unfortunately. After a year I saw my anger and my fears (of never being able to have a living child) grow. So much so that I couldn't wait any longer to see a therapist.
I have done two sessions with my therapist by now. She is a specialist in baby loss and fertility issues. She told me I have to say goodbye to Ale. Like, writing a letter. I think I get her, but I don't know if I am ready to say goodbye. I am working on that as I write, trying to convince myself to do so. Have any of you done something like that? Has it helped to cope with anger and sadness?
author's loss left her even less religious than before; negative example of code 4: author did not find comfort in religion