"May the pains of past bereavements grow more gentle;
Indeed, let them be transformed into gratitude to our dear ones who have died
And tenderness to those who are still with us."
What amazing words. I don't think I can add much to what Erica said in her comment. I too lost faith and am in the process of resdiscovering what is left, what can grow, what can thrive.
I held my daughter in my arms and told my husband, "Something good HAS to come from this." I wanted her life / her death to stretch and expand me - and, as I approach her first birthday, I finally have a sense of that beginning to happen. But, when I tried to force it in those early, raw months, I just felt angry, disillusioned and fragile. I have discovered that whatever nobility or richness or wonder exists, I cannot force it to exist in me. It is a gradual unfolding.