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Ok, so let's see...there are 21 comments and the article above...so I'll say ditto x22. For me its like I went through all of those stages of grief on a repeat cycle for what felt like forever and then this last round I got stuck in the anger stage. Like a broken record. Anger. Skip. Anger. Skip. Anger. Skip. But like so many of you, I'm just angry at everyone and everything and no one and nothing all at the same time.

This really rang a bell with me. I recently sat down and blogged about this very thing - the "unexpected" losses that came with losing my twin boys after they were born. I'm My blog post was rather long, so I won't copy the whole thing here - but here are some highlights on each point:

LOVE this and relate so fully and completely to having your bubble "burst". I never thought I was naive. I had a miscarriage and saw tragedy in my life. But I still NEVER in a million years thought that "God" would suddenly and randomly take ONE of my twins a week before my induction date. I never entertained that idea, not in a million years. I felt protected somehow. Maybe it was because I was past all the danger zones and risks I had been warned about, who knows. What a kick in the gut.

I can tell that we are going through similar things...it just seems to be harder. I have been more silent because I find that I just don't have words to express so I don't even try. I can't imagine how you're getting through all that you have to...sounds like a huge move and visitors (with a three month old, no less!) We have also moved (though only about 6 miles) but I have been finding that very difficult. I think it's amazing that you can make a bench for Emily in your garden though, what a thoughtful idea!

I'm sorry about your Gabbie, and you're right, it is sickening to think about...I wish none of us had to do this! My Grace was born at 21 weeks and she was alive for a short while...while we were holding her, we had to watch her struggle to breathe becuase her little lungs weren't developed enough and we and the doctors were helpless to do anything. In my nightmares, I imagine that it felt like piercing pain to her tiny, frail body and it makes my heart ache...

Tomorrow is Nina's birthday and deathday, hatching and dispatching if you will. She would have been 4. I don't feel sorry for her. I'm relieved she got spared the agony which would have been her life on earth with trisomy 13. I like to believe that, according to my "faith", she is a happy angel somewhere with wings and a whole body. I like to believe we will be re-united oneday. But my perception of faith has changed for ever. In four years I haven't decided what to make of it. Yet.

"collateral damage" is an apt and brilliant description.
We've lost friends, faith, trust... so many things.
And there is something about July babies that just... makes me sick to the stomach, and I feel bad for the babies and their parents and feel like I am a sick person myself.

I'm curious, did you go online at all to search for similar stories and/or find support after Pudding's death?

Yes, we have a reason for our daughter's death. Down syndrome ... causing a structural lung abnormality and lung disease that is incompatible with life. We know the type of Down syndrome that she had (one of the rarest) -- we know the extent of her malformed and diseased lungs (again, another rare occurrence). We are fortunate that we have answers -- but the one answer I still crave is the answer to "why?" Yes, we are so incredibly lucky to be able to put our heads on our pillows at night and have no question about what happened -- medically, anyway.